Chinese Jokes

Many chinese jokes are based on charcters or word play, and so do no translate very well.  Some however, do.
the following one has no translational issues:

Pinyin Romanization

Lǎoshī wèn: Rúguǒ nǐ zhǐdé yī rì de shòumìng, nǐ zuì xiǎngdào nàli qù?
Xuésheng dá: Wǒ huì jiāng zuìhòu de yītiān liú zài zhè jiān xuéxiào, zhègè kè shì.
Lǎoshī: Hǎogǎn dòng a? Xiànzài jìngrán yǒu xuésheng zhè bān hǎo xué.
Xuésheng: Yīnwei wǒ zài kè shì lǐ yǒu "dù rì rú nián" de gǎnjué a!

English Translation

Teacher: If you had just one day to live, where would you go?
Student: I would spend my last day in school, in this classroom.
Teacher: Oh! How touching! Such an eager student!
Student: Because time in this class goes so slowly, one day feels like a year!

one joke that I told in class one time, did however.

Pinyin

Mǒu gāozhōng xuéxiào xuésheng míngjiào Dài Suí Tóng.
Mǒu rì, xùn dǎo chù mǒu wèi lǎoshī xiàng quán xiào guǎngbō:
“Gāo èr tóngxué, Dài Suí Tóng dào xùn dǎo chù lái.”
Jiéguǒ shífēn zhōng hòu, xùn dǎo chù qián jǐ mǎn le dài zháo dàxiǎo shuǐtǒng de tóngxué, háiyǒu rén zài wèn, “Yàobu yào zhuāng shuǐ a?”

Literal Translation

There was once a high school student named Dài Suí Tóng.
One day, a teacher in charge of discipline used the intercom to broadcast this message:
"Secondary High students, Dài Suí Tóng to the office of discipline."
Ten minutes later, many students appeared outside the office of discipline with water buckets. One of them asked, “Do we have to put water in the buckets?

this joke seems nonsensical without the explanation, but even with it, it loses it's humor value, due to having to be explained.

Explanation

The name of the student 戴隋同 (Dài Suí Tóng) sounds like 帶水桶 (dài shuǐtǒng), which means “bring a water bucket”.

other jokes are based on the pattern of reading characters in china, such as the following:

Pinyin

Yǒu yī wèi xiǎojie qù dā gōng chē, tā bùguǎn dàole nǎ yī zhàn tā dōu zhàn qǐlai yīxià, wèi shénme ne?
Yīnwei tā bǎ “Xià yī zhàn tíngchē” kàn chéng “Chē tíng zhàn yīxià” la ！

English Translation

There is a young woman riding on a bus, and everytime the bus comes to a stop, she stands up. Why?
Because instead of reading the sign as “Stopping at the next bus stop”, she reads “When the bus stops, stand up”!

Explanation

When riding a bus in Taipei (and perhaps also in Chinese cities), you push a button to let the driver know you want off at the next stop. The button causes a sign to light up, which reads “下一站停車”. If these characters are read right to left, they mean “When the bus stops, stand up”.


Joke - xue2 tou2
dirty jokes - hun1 xiao4 hua4
to tell a joke - shuo1 xiao4
to laugh - fa1 xiao4
funny - gen2
play on words - shuang1 guang1 yu3